You have chosen this subject whether it is your own use of alcohol you are concerned about, or the alcohol use of someone else whom you care about. If it’s someone else’s alcohol use, it would be a good idea for you to read this material first, then pass it on to that person.

Just because you or other people think that someone’s use of alcohol is a problem, it’s not an issue for that person unless that person says so. The same is true for you. Even if your alcohol usage has landed you in jails and hospitals, if people have been severely injured or killed due to your alcohol consumption, if you’ve lost your driver’s license, your marriage, your jobs, all due to your alcohol consumption, nothing will change unless you, or the person having the problem, says it is a problem and that he/she is ready to do something to change it.

People often just let things slide. It’s not easy to change personal habits. Inertia is powerful. Also, people don’t like to admit, even to themselves, that they have a problem. Wait ‘til you see, below, the beliefs of the person who is dependent on alcohol!

In my many years of treating people with alcohol dependence, aka “alcoholics”, I learned that alcohol became the chemical of choice for them for stress relief and to feel better even if only for a short time, and it’s all based on the beliefs that they strongly hold. Sure, genetics may play a role, as well as environment. Growing up as the child of alcoholic parents is certainly an environmental issue, and can be a genetic one, also.

If alcoholism is all in the genes, or based on environmental factors, why is it that so many children of alcoholics do not become dependent on alcohol, and how is it that so many thousands of people are able to stop using alcohol for long periods of time, even for the rest of their lives?

Why do people believe they need a drug of choice, or a chemical of choice? In the Guide for Coping, we see the different ways people can respond to the need for relief from stress: Going crazy with shouting, cursing, and violence; using chemicals such as drugs or alcohol; or successfully coping with the causes of the stress and getting relief in healthy ways during that process.

Millions of people drink alcohol and most of them are not considered alcoholics. If you have alcohol with dinner, at a ball game, or at a party, but you hardly ever get drunk, your use of alcohol doesn’t cause you serious trouble, if there is never a time when you feel you must have alcohol to relieve pressures or stress, and if you never have any problem stopping after just one or two drinks, then you don’t qualify as an alcoholic. You’re probably not disappointed.

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