FREE PREVIEW FOR GUIDE FOR SELF-EXPRESSION


If I were to ask you, “Is there a hole in your life?”, you may be tempted to ask me, “Is there a hole in your head?”

Fair enough. I’ll take your question first: I hope not. Now let me explain my question.

From what I have learned of life, there are, as stated in earlier Guides, three emotional needs that all people have. These needs are self-love, shared-love, and self-expression. If any one of these needs is not adequately met and sustained, there is a lack of happiness, satisfaction and joy in the person’s life. Something major is missing. It is as though there is a hole in the person’s life.

In two other Guides, the other two primary emotional needs are dealt with, self-love and shared-love. If you have self-respect, independence other than for your shared-love relationships, self-esteem, and self-confidence, all based on the beliefs needed for self-love, you probably have adequate self-love. From this bedrock of self-love, you now have something to share and to give, and assuming you hold the beliefs of those who enjoy shared-love relationships, you most likely have adequate shared-love in your life. The only essential emotional need that may then still not be fulfilled, not yet satisfied, is the need for self-expression.

What is self-expression? It is showing yourself and the rest of the world what you can do, what you can accomplish. From our first grasping of things as an infant, from the first sounds we utter, we take pleasure in our own doings. This pleasure is enhanced when others recognize and reward us when we are demonstrating our skills, talents, and abilities.

“Look, Mom (Dad)!” we shout, the first time we ride a bicycle on our own. We feel pride at each stage of our development, for our every achievement. Finally, as a professional, an artist, a craftsman, an athlete, a homemaker, we enjoy showing what we can do, both to please ourselves, and also to enjoy the recognition of others.

This explains much of the misery of being laid off from a job. It’s not just a question of lost pay. If that were the case, wealthy people would never work, and most of them do. Many retired people pursue their hobbies, community activism, and volunteer work with the intensity of a highly paid executive.

Self-expression is “showing your stuff” to yourself and others. Self-expression gives people feelings of accomplishment, competence, and worth...

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